After the highs of the past few days and the conviction of what I want to do with my life--work in the area of self-empowerment and the development of close family ties--I am now plagued by insecurity and self-doubt. Am I ready for such a big responsibility?
I now realize that as a human being, this happens to us every so often. And this would always happen to me in the past. But instead of bringing back my focus on what I wanted to do, I would remain in the space of self-doubt. I finally understand that the key is to understand what is happening (self-doubt), acknowledge its presence, but choose to keep my eyes on what I want--which is to have a community of empowered beings living together in peace and harmony.
Instead of giving in to the self-doubt which I would normally do, I realize that it is in going back to focus on what I want that my goal and ambitions in life will be realized. But how do I go back to focusing on what I want?
Step 1. realize what is happening
Step 2. acknowledge what is happening but do one small thing related to the goal (in my case, writing this blog)
Step 3. Create a vision board or post a reminder of what I want where I can see it always
Step 4. Believe, believe, believe! in my ability to achieve my goals
What about you? Do you have a goal which is buried deep in your heart? Bring it back to the sunlight and believe that it is possible. Take small steps to make it a reality.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Faith, Purpose, and Focus
Faith, purpose, and focus are key ingredients to living the life I want. This is what I got in the past two weeks. Two Sundays ago, the gospel reading was about Peter walking on water to go to Jesus a few feet away. While he was focused on his desire to reach Jesus, he was able to do anything including walk on water. He was unstoppable. When he realized what was happening and self-doubt entered the picture, that's when he began to sink.
Since declaring myself to be a stand for personal growth and self-discovery, I have been writing more often, getting my blog more active, and been shown a website I can join to reach more people. I find I finally have the ability to be focused and determined about what I want to achieve out of my life. I find I am capable of being unstoppable. It is when I doubt myself--am I good enough, who do I think I am to want to do this--it is when thoughts like these enter my mind that I lose the power and the strength to go after what I want.
Last night though, I finally got the word unstoppable during the last night of Landmark Forum. I finally got that to be unstoppable is to have a single purpose to focus on and put my heart and soul into achieving this. Just keep my eyes on the purpose (like a horse with blinders) and not look left, right or back (do not lose faith, do not doubt). With these in place, I can finally reach my destination.
What about you? Are there areas in your life where you want to be unstoppable?
Since declaring myself to be a stand for personal growth and self-discovery, I have been writing more often, getting my blog more active, and been shown a website I can join to reach more people. I find I finally have the ability to be focused and determined about what I want to achieve out of my life. I find I am capable of being unstoppable. It is when I doubt myself--am I good enough, who do I think I am to want to do this--it is when thoughts like these enter my mind that I lose the power and the strength to go after what I want.
Last night though, I finally got the word unstoppable during the last night of Landmark Forum. I finally got that to be unstoppable is to have a single purpose to focus on and put my heart and soul into achieving this. Just keep my eyes on the purpose (like a horse with blinders) and not look left, right or back (do not lose faith, do not doubt). With these in place, I can finally reach my destination.
What about you? Are there areas in your life where you want to be unstoppable?
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Discovering love and purpose
Accepting myself unconditionally--my strengths and weaknesses--has opened up a whole new world for me because on the tail of unconditional acceptance came confidence and purpose.
I am not a psychologist neither am I a sociologist--I did not study human behavior but my observations are a result of my life journey. I am 46 years old and spent my adult years in search of answers to my perennial question: who Am I? Why was I born? Why did God put me on earth when, to my view, I had nothing to contribute. I hated myself and could not accept the talents and strengths that were given to me. I was always looking towards others for answers and got frustrated when all I received were the comments I was not looking for. These comments reinforced my already negative view of myself--I had no talent because I could not draw, I could not visualize. I hated myself because I was uncomfortable being an extrovert. I so badly wanted to be one because that is what I got growing up.
This view I had of myself frustrated those around me because they saw great potential in me but until I saw it and recognized it myself, nothing would come out of my life. And nothing did. I wallowed in mediocrity--doing things to get by and doing my best not to be noticed. In my life, I contributed little to conversation with others. I hid by playing with kids because I could just play with them and they always accepted me into their circle. I put up with shabby treatment because I did not want to cause a commotion. In other words, my self-esteem and self-love were nowhere to be found.
Recent events in my life (in previous entries) has given me acceptance, confidence--a voice and courage to approach people--I asked two of the Azkals players for an autograph and photo--this would never have happened and was unthinkable.
Finally, revealed a purpose--to talk about the importance of unconditional love and acceptance of the self and of others. This blog is a start. I am willing to use other platforms--that is how strongly it has made an impact in my life.
I am not a psychologist neither am I a sociologist--I did not study human behavior but my observations are a result of my life journey. I am 46 years old and spent my adult years in search of answers to my perennial question: who Am I? Why was I born? Why did God put me on earth when, to my view, I had nothing to contribute. I hated myself and could not accept the talents and strengths that were given to me. I was always looking towards others for answers and got frustrated when all I received were the comments I was not looking for. These comments reinforced my already negative view of myself--I had no talent because I could not draw, I could not visualize. I hated myself because I was uncomfortable being an extrovert. I so badly wanted to be one because that is what I got growing up.
This view I had of myself frustrated those around me because they saw great potential in me but until I saw it and recognized it myself, nothing would come out of my life. And nothing did. I wallowed in mediocrity--doing things to get by and doing my best not to be noticed. In my life, I contributed little to conversation with others. I hid by playing with kids because I could just play with them and they always accepted me into their circle. I put up with shabby treatment because I did not want to cause a commotion. In other words, my self-esteem and self-love were nowhere to be found.
Recent events in my life (in previous entries) has given me acceptance, confidence--a voice and courage to approach people--I asked two of the Azkals players for an autograph and photo--this would never have happened and was unthinkable.
Finally, revealed a purpose--to talk about the importance of unconditional love and acceptance of the self and of others. This blog is a start. I am willing to use other platforms--that is how strongly it has made an impact in my life.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
The Power of Speaking Up
I am 46 years old and this 46th year received tons of blessings on my birthday month. For almost as long as I can remember I have been grappling with personal issues of self-loathing and non-acceptance. What was once loathing had turned into an uneasy “acceptance” of myself but there was still some part that was constantly questioning who am I and what was I meant to do on this earth.
Early this month, I had a conversation with one of my good friends and in the course of this conversation finally made peace with my introverted personality. I had always been comfortable in small group gatherings rather than large ones. I had always been better at expressing my thoughts in the written word rather than the spoken word. In words rather than pictures. Organizing activities rather than prettyfying things. These were skills which I had but which I thought did not matter. So I always thought I lacked skills because I was looking for abilities to talk in front of others, be visual in picture form—but I was not those skills. I can work on those skills to enhance myself but I now know I own a set of God given talents. I am finally at peace with my personality and my skills. As soon as that peace and acceptance came upon me, the discomfort in my gut disappeared. In the books on self-development I have been devouring, the gut is where our self-esteem and self-love is felt.
A few days after that earth-shaking breakthrough, God sent me another birthday gift. I was given an opportunity to share my journey with my family. I have not been sharing because of fear—fear of what I will hear. Many times in the past my excitement in my little accomplishments were met with criticisms. My bubble of excitement would be pricked and burst right there. These experiences have taught me to keep quiet about my journey in case it is belittled. It is for me a great accomplishment and one I am very proud of. Alan, my youngest brother was to give an introduction to the Landmark Forum to the family. He asked me to support him and share my journey with them. I agreed to this simple request. I did not realize that opening up was the final step I needed to let go of the past and face my present and my future.
The simple act of speaking up changed my life. I speak up now—in the cab when the airconditioner doesn’t work, in restaurants when I am given the wrong order—these are mundane everyday activities I could never do before. I have finally found my voice.
I now know what I am meant to do—I am meant to journey with others accept themselves and find their own voices. I don’t know yet how that will happen. I know it will though.
Early this month, I had a conversation with one of my good friends and in the course of this conversation finally made peace with my introverted personality. I had always been comfortable in small group gatherings rather than large ones. I had always been better at expressing my thoughts in the written word rather than the spoken word. In words rather than pictures. Organizing activities rather than prettyfying things. These were skills which I had but which I thought did not matter. So I always thought I lacked skills because I was looking for abilities to talk in front of others, be visual in picture form—but I was not those skills. I can work on those skills to enhance myself but I now know I own a set of God given talents. I am finally at peace with my personality and my skills. As soon as that peace and acceptance came upon me, the discomfort in my gut disappeared. In the books on self-development I have been devouring, the gut is where our self-esteem and self-love is felt.
A few days after that earth-shaking breakthrough, God sent me another birthday gift. I was given an opportunity to share my journey with my family. I have not been sharing because of fear—fear of what I will hear. Many times in the past my excitement in my little accomplishments were met with criticisms. My bubble of excitement would be pricked and burst right there. These experiences have taught me to keep quiet about my journey in case it is belittled. It is for me a great accomplishment and one I am very proud of. Alan, my youngest brother was to give an introduction to the Landmark Forum to the family. He asked me to support him and share my journey with them. I agreed to this simple request. I did not realize that opening up was the final step I needed to let go of the past and face my present and my future.
The simple act of speaking up changed my life. I speak up now—in the cab when the airconditioner doesn’t work, in restaurants when I am given the wrong order—these are mundane everyday activities I could never do before. I have finally found my voice.
I now know what I am meant to do—I am meant to journey with others accept themselves and find their own voices. I don’t know yet how that will happen. I know it will though.
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