Since coming to that magical moment of accepting myself, the nagging discomfort at the pit of my tummy has disappeared.
Reading up on introversion, I find I am not strange after all. Those questions about life constantly plaguing me which my siblings found weird are part of who I am. The introvert has an inquiring mind. Although we live and breathe like everyone else, our world is directed inward. We get our energies from within--being around a lot of people drains our energy. I now understand why I am constantly tired and bothered when I am surrounded by a group of boisterous people.
Understanding myself has given me power over my energy and my life. I now have a choice to either stay with others and interact with them or to pull back and be by myself when it becomes too much.
I began practicing this in my life. Yesterday, after a particularly crowded day in my work area, I decided to look for a quiet place to read away from the maddening crowd. It worked! I got my energy back. I was not as tired when I got home and had energy to interact with Javo who is definitely an extrovert.
Acknowledging myself as an introvert has stopped that interior struggle constantly going on in my head when I am in a gathering of people. "Say something, start a conversation!" is one side and then the other side argues, "but what do I say?" and the more I try to think of something to say, the more it evades me. I am now comfortable with my decisions to sit quietly on the sidelines and watch the gathering.
I am now able to operate in this world to the best of my ability.
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